Coming to Ame...I Mean Arizona

This has been a wild 4 years here. Phoenix is so different from California, yet...the same.

It's prettier here...no smog, mountains and saguaro's (cactus) everywhere. But there's something very fundamental missing in the Valley of the Sun.

CULTURE!

I miss concerts from my favorite artists. I miss seeing Asians driving down the street instead of just in nail shops. I haven't seen an Indian (from India) since I moved.

It's so basic to those who grew up and live in areas that are culturally diverse. But here...this right here...no diversity really. We do have Native Americans in full force, but other than that, its pretty milktoast in Phoenix.

The reason I notice...and care is that there is something to be said for living amongst different cultures that elevates you. I think that diversity makes you a more well rounded person that will allow for you to function better in society. But what do you do when you live in a culturally stagnant area? How do you learn about different cultures? How do you really value you're own when there is no comparison?!

I'm thankful that I grew up in Southern California; that I chose to spend a good portion of my 20's in LA learning more about other people. It helped develop a tolerance and appreciation that I wouldn't have received otherwise. And say what you want about LA, but the tolerance and understanding that I have about gay and lesbian issues go way beyond my drinking days in WeHo. It helped open my eyes to more than skin color diversity issues.

I love living here. I love that I have a better quality of life. That I can afford to live. Broke in Arizona is a whole other broke than in California. So though I believe I made a smart choice to relocate...I'll always consider LA my home.

When I Fell In Love With Football

...it was in Vegas. I dated a guy who was a gambler. We used to drive to Vegas every other Sunday so he could place his bets (legally!). We'd spend all day in the sports books. And by all day, I mean from the first game all the way to the last on Sundays! I had a choice...either gamble the little bit of money I had or sit and watch with him.

...So I started paying attention. First, to find the teams I wanted to bet on, but eventually certain teams caught my attention. I saw an interview with Terry Glenn and starting paying more attention to the Cowboys. I wasn't a fan yet...but the fact that they are America's team and even in horrible season's always seemed to fight really had me cheering for them.

...Its been almost 10 years and though I watch football waaay more now than I did back than, I still appreciate their tenacity (though I think letting T.O. go was the stupidest thing they've done). I think this will be a garbage season, but I'm still going to cheer, watch every game I can and have my Cowboys Christmas tree up!!

...I'm not a stat geek...I really don't care about the specific numbers of really any player. I look at it as a team sport and entertainment. I watch all day Sunday, but that's about it. Rarely watch a weekday game because...well....i'm busy! lol...but I love the athleticism and the camaraderie that it provides. Nothing beats going to a game and talking shit with other fans...even if its fans of another team. These days, I look forward to football season...all the drama and intrigue and amazing plays that get 2 teams to the Superbowl. Can't beat it!!!

Motivation

What is it about people who are successful?

MOTIVATION!

But how does one achieve the motivation they need to get where they want to go? At what age does this self-motivation come? And as a parent, what can I do to foster the dream instead of killing it?

I had a conversation with my step son today about what his goals are as an adult. He said he wants to play basketball. Well, he's a good player, improves every season, very open to coaching. Problem is...he doesn't practice outside of when he has to! So, as a parent, I wonder how he'll get better?!!

I encourage him to dream...I want him to think that the world is larger than Phoenix...that he can attain whatever he'd like in life. But I need for him to understand that the key to achieving a goal is passion and dedication to being the best. Where I need help is trying to find a way to nurture the dream and drill the desire to want to self-improve rather than waiting for a practice day. To be honest...I don't know how.

What can I do as a parent to get him motivated to practice on his own? To do well in school because he will need to be prepared to go to college? How can I show him that a dream deserves 100% of his attention?? I am really stumped.

Marsha Ambrousis - MJ Tribute @ Jazz Cafe

Wooooowwwww!!!

I Hate BET Man....They're Garbage!

BET...Why?!

This comes after viewing the 106 and Park show before the awards with my 8 year old son tonight...So, I'm watching these performances...Hurricane Chris (money doesn't make you cuter), Letoya Luckett (da hell was happening behind her?), Diddy's boys...and in between they're asking people about Michael. Now, maybe I wasn't paying attention, but I swore I heard Debra Lee mention that she was WELL AWARE that the world would be watching what was about to enfold.

What enfolded was shucking and jiving 2009. The best of the best coonery this side of the Atlantic! I need for the host of the tribute to be sober, for the acts that actually honored MJ to have even a little bit of his talent (with the exception of Ne-Yo) and that Joe Jackson be somewhere other than on TV. And BET provided the outlet for all of this...

I realize that Aaron McGruder was probably being a little sarcastic with his imagery of Debra Lee as Cruella Duville out to kill black folks with horrific programming...but upon further inspection I have to say I think he may be right on point! I really think that an afternoon spent watching BET not only dumbs you down, but also desensitizes folks to real issues in our society.

Another point that became obvious to me is that I, as a Black 34 year old woman is no longer their target audience. I'm a grown woman, intelligent that enjoys a "grown" type of entertainment splashed with news (because umm...in case no one at BET knew...change is happening...like...right now!). We are in hard economic times; it is documented that African-American unemployment is the highest, we have the highest number of young, black male suicides. There are just bigger fish to fry than all this dancing and singing...I need facts. My son needs to see reality, not fantasy in the form of College Hill or Hell Date.

STOP FUCKIN SINGING AND DANCING LIKE SHIT IS COOL RIGHT NOW...ITS NOT!

In closing, thanks BET for reiterating that we really are our own worst enemy. And we'll tape it and show it to the world just in case someone wasn't paying attention. We are responsible for the images we portray...and again...we failed.

A Hustler's Hustle...

I am a Finance Counselor and I talk to adult learners everyday trying to figure out how they can afford school. For the most part, most are looking for the best way to self-promote or maintain their jobs. And than there is a whole other group of "students" who are going to school for the financial aid they can recieve while attending.

Now, I'm not one to knock a hustle...do you boo boo...do you. However, why not actually attend classes? Why not actually finish with a degree?! Why hop from school to school when you could stay put, collect the check and get a degree out of it?! And actually position yourself to make some bread instead of creating a huge bill?! This has fascinated me to no end...the hustle of financial aid without really getting the best benefit...A FREE EDUCATION! So what do you get in the end? $18,000 and the bill and bad credit to prove it:(

Why is the okey doke ok?

Very simple question...difficult to answer for so many. Why are we ok with less than? Why do people accept abuse? Why do we work a job we hate? Why do we just "go through the motions" of our lives? This is all we have...yet so many, myself included just kind of get by. What can I/we do today right now to make our day better than ok? When people ask how I am...I say fantastic...and I mean it. But I want to be able to say that daily, weekly, monthly and yearly!