Sunday, February 14, 2010

Happy Valentine’s Day Ya’ll!!

I love music. I love holidays celebrating the love I have for the people in my life. And I love connecting music to my experiences with those folk. So here is a brief list of some of my favorite love songs. Some I like because of the lyrics, some for the tone of the song…other’s for how I feel when listening. I tried to add the music that you have most likely never heard but should. Purposely left Jilly from Philly out because...well...its a no brainer! And these are in no particular order. Enjoy!!

Old Lovas – Dwele – Some Kinda

Angel – Anita Baker – The Best of Anita Baker

The Point Of It All – Anthony Hamilton – The Point Of It All

When Will You Call – Bilal – First Born Second

All You’ve Given – Carl Thomas – Let’s Talk About It

Break It Down – Eric Roberson – Music Fan First

Orange Moon – Erykah Badu – Mama’s Gun

I Wanna Know – Foreign Exchange – Leave It All Behind

Come Around – Foreign Exchange – Connected

Higher Than This – Ledisi – Turn Me Loose

Stop The World – Maxwell –BLACKsummer’s Night

I Can’t Help It – Michael Jackson – Off The Wall

She Lives In My Lap – OutKast – The Love Below

Complexity – The Roots – Phrenology

Day Dreaming - Saunders Sermons – Classic Delight

Lifetime – Usher – Here I Stand

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Right On Time…

I received an email today based on a T.D. Jakes sermon…all I remember though was him saying that he’s great at good-byes. That being able to recognize people’s part in your story being done is God given. I’ve always felt this way, but it was articulated much better by Jakes.

“You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something.. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye.. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.”

We tend to want to hold on to old relationships because of the history we share with folks not realizing or understanding that their purpose in your life…and really yours in theirs is a done dada. What makes us want to hold on to fake relationships? I’ve had plenty of conversations with “old” friends and leave feeling frustrated because of issues such as them being stuck in ruts, not making moves to make their life better, or just no emotional growth from when I first met them. And then I feel bad because I’ve kept my life moving.
But that’s what we’re supposed to do…keep moving. Progressing. Living our lives as best we can. And part of making that happen requires reaching up to people who are where you want to be. And letting go of the crabs that try to keep you where you were. Don’t get me wrong…there are some old friends that you will want to keep by your side; they provide stability and a grounding that you need. But the ones who don’t really wish you well if that means doing better than them or those who have made no positive moves since the like…90’s…you’ll have to cut lose.
There is some self pride and self awareness in recognizing the people who are emotionally harmful, but if you don’t believe in yourself how are you going to get ahead in life? There is nothing cocky or conceited about wanting to be comfortable, to raise your family in the best situation you can, or reaching for your dreams. That’s why we are here. To fulfill God’s promise for our lives. To not live up to our potential because of our surroundings is to throw away our blessings. I refuse to do that. No…I am not cocky. But I want a good life. I want my son to have a great life. And that won’t happen if I bring him around people who are ok with “just getting by”. I have bigger dreams for him then that.
Being on your grind, wanting a good life, taking care of yourself and the people around you are admirable. Making mistakes are part of the plan. Get the lesson and keep pushing. Surround yourself with people who love you. And say good bye to those who no longer do.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

What I Learned Watching For The Love of Ray J Season 2

Ironically, I did pick up some pointers from this “hit” reality show. Obviously, the kid wasn’t/isn’t looking for the love of his life…he’s a young cat that enjoys fame. So any woman that auditioned and really truly thought it would be more is a tad bit touched. But here are some things I did learn:

1. There is something to be said about choosing to be with someone that lives a similar lifestyle to yours now and in the future. If you value family, you probably won’t do too well with someone who values running the streets. It just won’t work. And that’s not to say either person’s position is right or wrong…it just is what it is.

2. An important factor in dating is getting to know someone…the crust of a muthasuckaJ And to do that, you need to be able to ask question, express yourself, and have fun. If it’s not fun at the dating stage, why would your expectation be that it will be better later? That’s ass backward. It should start fun and than go downhill (jokes!...kind of).

3. Involving your family members in tomfoolery such as having them meet random men/women in your life is a little/lot self defeating. You’re wasting everyone’s time. And there’s nothing more embarrassing to experience than meeting family members that you’ll never deal with again.

4. Do your best to carry yourself as best you can. Even when someone acts a monkey in a potentially public environment (like a reunion show) be enough of a lady to keep it together rather than going Maury “I TOLD you you were the father!” on folks. Bad look.

So in conclusion, though I think Ray J is a hot mess he has willing participants in his antics. And if there is a season 3…maybe I’ll watch and pick up some more pointers. Ha ha!