I have a few male friends who have children that they would love to raise. However, because of the fact that they are no longer with the mother of their children, they have had to fight for the right to actively participate in their kids' lives. They don't want to cut a check or have funds taken out of their check. They want what every parent should have; the ability to see their children grow up and have a say in who their kids grow up to be.
Is our legal system bias? Well, of course. Why? Because our laws make assumptions about who is the more responsible and nurturing between men and women. But not all women fall into the category of "good mothers" just like not all men fall into the category of "good fathers". So how do we make a determination that really benefits these children?
What's so heartbreaking to me is that while these fathers (that I know personally) love their children and really, truly want a hand in the raising of their seed, our system just requires that they cut a check. That's great that the child support helps the mother with rent, but having a father figure in these children's lives will effect them in only the most positive ways. And especially with fathers who WANT to be dad's...not just the every other weekend type dudes...its speaks volumes about the men that they are.
As a non-child bearing parent (ask me later), I can only pray that my friends and other men out there that want to raise their children get the opportunity to be more than a check. I'm not turning my face to the bum baby daddy's...I realize they exist just like the bum baby mama's exist. But if you have adults who love and nurture these children...let them raise the babies!!! Why make life harder than it should be for all parties involved?!
So to my friends who are fighting, who will fight and who have won...thank you for being an active participant in the raising of your children! Let me know if you need me!