Tuesday, September 28, 2010

What Are You Mixed With?

UGH!!!! I absolutely hate that question! It is a question that I have been asked all of my life and to tell you the truth, I’m starting to get really annoyed with. I haven’t figured out if this is a geographic dilemma or people with no filter, but it is just not an appropriate question to ask…especially of people that you do not know.

Now don’t get me wrong…I am proud of all that I am, but if you are not in a position for it to ever really matter in your own personal life…why ask? Trust me…if you get to know me, you will soon discover what my ethnic combo is.

Let me replay my conversation yesterday. I was in training with about 20 other people. All of a sudden my neighbor (a sistah) leans over and asks who does my hair. I explained that I do it myself. Then she asks what kind of shampoo I use. Ummm…Pantene. Next thing I know she’s asking what I’m mixed with and who is what. Apparently, she’s dating a white guy and wanted some hair pointers if she ended up having kids with him. So many issues with this convo besides the fact that I was embarrassed.

First of all, I’m not black and white…so the chances of your kid having the same hair texture as me is slim to none. Second, you’re female. We will never have kids together, so how exactly does my background effect you? And finally, why are you asking me to explain who I am to you. Because my ethnicity, my family is who I am.

I have yet to meet one person of mixed decent who thinks this question is appropriate or ok. It’s offensive and ignorant. Please understand… we are people too. We don’t want people walking up to “pet” our hair, compare our skin coloring to yours or think we’ll co-sign on interracial dating just because both our parents aren’t black. Very few of us have hair complexes…well at least I don’t so discussing whether or not my hair can actually grow is mad ignorant.

I do feel different, but not because of what color my parents are…it’s because of who they are. WHO my family is. I don’t care what my hair looks like 90% of the time and I tan to even myself out. This doesn’t make me special and I’m tired of people trying to set me apart because of it. The divide has occurred pretty much all of my life and it hasn’t been all positive. I have had people not want to be my friend because I’m not “black enough”; I have had guys want me to have their baby because “our kids will have good hair”.

I hope that people take the time to really think before opening their mouths to ask “What are you?” I’m a human being that would appreciate you using some sort of filter before you open your mouth in the future.

Please and thank you.

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